In Pain mixed with Anguish mixed with Faith,
I suffer silently,
Crippling depression is mine.
My parents love me, for sure.
Everyone else just wants to Use me.
I’m tired. How long, Oh Lord, must I Suffer!
How long, Oh Lord, until you wipe away all my tears!
I feel the pressure of torment… Mine own torment torments me!
Like being stuck under the sea,
Pressure builds! Lava flows! The hot, searing pain of anguish!
The futile, lingering pain of depression!
Why would God create me, just to let me suffer?
Why must I suffer all the day! Does anyone even care but myself?
On the outside… I have everything.. a car.. a home.. a job.
On the inside I’m empty as an old man’s Tomb. Filled with dead bones and dust!
I believe in this life I am called to suffer! The bible tells me to rejoice in it!
Sometime’s I wish I never existed! What a life that would be!
Death seems like the easy way out! What a seductress!
She hands me wine filled with poison,
And offers me a drink of everlasting peace,
But like all gifts from Satan, it is a lie!
My only consolance,
Is that Christ himself was a man of suffering,
He drank the cup of God’s wrath,
And bled freely for me.
In my turn God calls me to suffer!
Live life with your years passing you by as a simple office worker!
Watch everyone you know grow up to be enslaved into that same system
Of working until you retire then die.
Oh, the false peace of death! She puts on her red lipstick and wants to kiss me!
While I long for the final embrace, I fight all the day long to avoid the sweet kiss!
An atheist says it’s final, death is the end. I know that is a lie. As a Christian, I am promised eternal life!
I’m excited for that life as long as I’m not suffering in it!
My life is suffering all the day long,
My agony rots my bones.
No doctor can fix me. No therapist can heal me.
I’m broken, Lord.
Utterly ruined. I reject myself! How can YOU Accept me!
I long for the final Kingdom of Everlasting piece,
I fight against the seductress of Death. Please keep her far from me, O’Lord!
While I must suffer all the day, every day!
While my days rot in agony!
Lord, please revive my days! Give me life! To the fullest!
Until the day of the Lord’s coming,