Always assume god has a higher standard then we do, to a shocking degree.
When we are on our deathbed, we will have a greater knowledge of our sin than ever, while at the same time be more sanctified than ever.
- I’d recommend the first step an addict take is to have no access to internet for a period of time, I’d recommend for a period of 3 months or more if needed. That way, if there is a craving, they may get used to masturbating without the use of porn. Because this is less of a dopamine rush, it will happen less and less often. At this stage, it may be dangerous to tell the addict to stop masturbating completely, because they have to get used to the lesser dopamine rush, but ending masturbation completely is the ultimate goal. (If you need a phone, get a flip phone. For internet, use a public space like star bucks or a library.)
- After a month or two depending on the severity, the time is to add back the internet but have accountability partners and apps like Ever Accountable on all accessible private phones and computers. Accountability is like shining a light on sin, and this sort of sin can only thrive in darkness. The addict will get used to having access to the internet, but having accountability for their actions. This should dissuade and or completely stop porn usage on the accountable devices.
- If step #2 is working properly, then the third step requires a bit of imagination. Try to envision every possible scenario in which porn use or masturbation could occur. For me, for example, I’m more likely to do that in the morning, in almost a non-thinking like way. To prevent this, I have someone to call every morning to keep me accountable and from doing this. One scenario that I didn’t predict ended up costing me big: Amazon Echo devices can pull up pornographic sounds very easily. Because of this, it should be removed from the place of sleeping. At this point if you fall at all, it should only be in a scenario that you couldn’t predict and put a successful protocol (like calling someone) in place for or a control (like accountability apps) in place that was able to stop it.
- Any time you get tempted with lust, have an accountability partner to tell BEFORE it happens. If you even feel like you are going to begin to masturbate, call your partner or spouse and take a cold shower, you’d be amazed at how the temptation goes away. Masturbation is actually the gateway to pornography, and pornography is the gateway to physical adultery. However, if you never masturbate in the first place, then you nip the whole chain of sin in the bud.
- When you have been 8 months without porn, DON’T BECOME PROUD OR FEEL SUPERIOR ABOUT IT! While it is an amazing accomplishment for the addict, you are in NO WAY BETTER than someone who hasn’t figured out the strategies to stop it. IF YOU BECOME PROUD, YOU MAY FALL AGAIN BECAUSE GOD MIGHT RATHER YOU FALL AGAIN THEN BECOME PROUD! Also, don’t EVER think you have completely OVERCOME FLESHLY DESIRES! It should be a daily struggle until we get our glorified bodies! If you ever think, “The New Me would never do that!”, you ARE WRONG! Live everyday as if this is the DAY YOU COULD FALL! Just as we should live each day as if Jesus would come back that day, we should live each day on guard against the flesh! Otherwise, the enemy will come at a time when your guard is down and have more likelihood for success.
- The only thing that can really make you fall when you don’t want to is unexpected circumstances. Whether you are in a hotel room, friends house, parents house, the new circumstances and lack of controls can tempt you and cause you to fall. BE EXTRA VIGILENT WHEN IN NEW PLACES WHERE THERE ARE NO CONTROLS. In this case, you need a protocol of calling your spouse if you even have a hint of lust. In fact, I’d recommend you call your spouse/accountability partner EVERY DAY you are in an unusual circumstance where you could fall, or if you even begin to feel any lust, call your partner and jump in a cold shower.
Lastly, don’t give up or lose hope! This sin can not only send you to hell if you don’t repent, it will ruin any relationship you have with your partner or future spouse! It will ruin your relationship with God! From someone unknowingly addicted for 18 years, IT IS POSSIBLE TO STOP. NEVER GET COMPLACENT!
Recommended book: Every Young Man’s Battle
Recommended Movie: The Heart of Man
The kingdom of God is all about multiplication. Freely you receive, freely give. One seed dies and produces many seeds. Losing your life to really live. Today I just want to take a moment to encourage you in the light of eternity.
We get 100 years max to live by faith and leave a legacy. How we live today will be our story someday in eternity. We won’t get to walk by faith then, we won’t get to deny ourselves then, we won’t get to shine our light in the midst of darkness then. One million years from now what we do now will be all we have as a testimony.
God wants us to not only produce fruit that remains, but to produce much of it. I want to be so full of fruit that my branches hang to the ground, and people can come and pick my fruit anytime they need to. If someone needs encouragement, come and pick from my tree. If someone needs love, I have that available too. If someone needs patience, or kindness, or gentleness, it’s all fruit on my tree. All we have to do is abide. Don’t fall for the trap of comparison, you be the best you. There is nobody like you and nobody can offer exact what you do. You are unique, you aren’t just one of millions, you are one in a million. Christ in us, the hope of glory!